I knew...

"Can I get a BJ?" Asked Elyk Htims with a grin.

"Five bucks buck-a-roo." Said Rolyat.

"If I give you this five dollars, you go buy me a donut, you got that?" Demanded Elyk, who, at the time, was 'high as a kite.' In reality, he'd only smoked roughly one bowl.

"Okay." Replied Rolyat.

10 Minutes Later

"Elyk, did you want some donuts?" Rolyat asked before leaving.

"Yeah, why do you think I gave you the five bucks?" Elyk snorted drearily.

"... You didn't..." Replied Rolyat.

"I have 10 bucks in my pocket and if I pull it out and there's not 10, I'm going to know..." Said Elyk as he yanked his bill-fold from his trousers. Inside lay, crisply, two, count-them, two, five dollar bills. "See, there's not 15 you faggot!"

"You said 10, retard." Rolyat retorted triumphantly.

"If you come back and you don't have my donuts I'm going to rape your unborn child in the cranium with a sledgehammer and a large cock."

"Okay." Smiled Rolyat as he swiftly exited with four of his pals: Erdna, Sirhc, and Retrac.

Back at the house

"Elyk, why are you laying around?" Asked Mas jokingly.

"I'm so high right now." Said Elyk in response.

"Elyk, you're my best friend, and I'm not going to let you just lay around." Mas replied hastily.

"First of all, you're not my best friend. None of you are. My best friend is Matt Deweese." Elyk responded viciously.

"Elyk, you haven't seen him since you were 3 years old." Said Mas.

"But it was the best 3 years of my life. We had discussions, y'know, ones ten-times deeper than any shit I've ever had with you guys. Ever." Rambled Elyk. "He wasn't as smart as me, because... let's be serious, none of you are, but he read, oh boy did he read. He read these books, y'know, and I don't read, but he read these books, philosophy and stuff. He knew things, not as much as me, obviously, but he knew some things that NONE of you know besides him, and obviously, me."

Back in the car

"I can tolerate alcohol really well. Like, no one will even know, you'll see. I'll pull it off." Erdna commented.

"We'll be fine." Sirch added.

Leaning over to Rolyat, Retrac asked "Do you actually have Elyk's five dollars?"

"Yeah, I do." Rolyat replied as they rolled up to and stopped to enter North Hy-Vee.

Back at the house

"I'm sooooo high. EVERYONE! EVERYONE! I'm soooo high right now. Look at me laying and being HIGH. NOW SHUT UP! The cops are going to use their submarine sonar satellite machines to beam down to a house here on the outskirts of Ottumwa, Iowa and come to this house and bust in the locked front door and nab all of us up unlawfully and drag us down to the station and process us with tazers and nuclear weaponry!!!" Cried Elyk.

"That's a little paranoid Elyk." Said Mas.

"Oh really? I guess it's also paranoid that I think the neighbors are right now dialing 911 on this house because they used their x-ray vision machine and super-sonic hearing constructs to listen in and video-tape our entire activities!" Screamed Elyk. "Now shut up, faggot!"

At the very moment of faggot crying and conspiracy chatter, Rolyat returned to the drive-way of Mas's home and proceeded to exit the vehicle with his chums.

Strolling up to the front-door, and waiting for a person on the inside to unlock, Rolyat pulled out the bag of donuts. The person to answer and unlock the door was Elyk.

"Here's your donuts Elyk!" Yelled Rolyat in a birthday-surprise-party kind of tone.

"I knew you fucked me you son of a bitch."