It really isn't...

"So, I was listening to their new album, and I was like 'wow, metal is back.'" Said Kyle somewhat gleefully.

At that very moment, he felt something touch him on the chest. Looking in the direction of the jab's owner, he found someone staring him dead in the face.

"It's not metal without the second pedal." Said Max, the poker.

The Next Day

Standing in a circle with his pals, talking to Chris about music, Kyle made sure that their conversation was nearly inaudible to anyone on the other side of the crowd.

"Iron Maiden is a metal revolution-" Cut off by a sudden nudge to the shin, Kyle peered down to spy a shoe, and then a leg, and as he looked up, there he found the owner.

"Kyle, it's not metal without the second pedal."

In Kyle's rage, he began devising a plan of revenge, entirely heinous in it's construction. He began to explain the plan to Erdna, his buddy.

"First, I'm going to lace C4 throughout his house with timed explosive ignition, and when the cops go looking into the cause of the explosion, there will be no evidence. And if there is, I'll just say 'fuck the po-lease.'" Said Kyle, while too reminiscing his distasteful acts against law-enforcement, he remembered his greatest prank. He stealthily chloroformed an officer and anal raped him in his squad car.

10 Days Later

"Hey ErDna, I wired Max's house." Explained Kyle.

"I'm about to wire you buddy." Said Erdnam with a raised fist.

Both of them were sitting outside Max's, ready for the show.

"His house will explode in 5... 4... 3... 2..." Said Kyle joyfully as OrDna and himself were stationed outside Max's house. "1. Boom."

But to Kyle's surprise, nothing happened.

"Might be faulty, I'll try again later." Kyle said with some disappointment.

At that moment, an officer walked up and stood in front of Kyle.

"Fuck the po-lease." Kyle blurted out. The officer whipped out his hand-cuffs and began to wrap them around Kyle's wrists. "No, you can't do that. I only said 'fuck the police,' not 'fuck you officer.'"

Without a word, the policeman took Kyle to the station and placed him in a small room with a two-way mirror.

Soon, the same officer and Max walked in and took a seat.

"We found it Mister Smith." Said the officer.

"Found what?" Asked Kyle.

"The wiring. For the C4." Concluded the officer.

"I used metal wiring, it's supposed to be undetectable!" Cried Matt Deweese's best bud.

"No you didn't. I'll have our near-victim explain." Said the officer motioning his hands towards Max.

"It wasn't undetectable, because it wasn't metal." Explained Max, as if disappointed incredibly.

"Well why the fuck not? It sure seemed like it." Exclaimed Kypho.

"Because." Said Max with a sigh. "It's not metal without the second pedal."

Kyle proceeded to lose his composure and become furious.

"I'll fucking chloroform you ass-hole!" Screamed Kyle at the top of his lungs.

The cops memory came back to him, and he remembered the penetration that happened inside his squad car one fateful day.

"I knew you fucked me you son of a bitch." Said the policeman randomly.

"You're getting life in prison." Max stated clearly.

"No, I won't. I'll wiggle out of it because I'm going to be a lawyer."

"No you won't." Replied Max.

"Why not?" Asked Kyle confusedly.

"Because you're stuck at Quizno's."